Dear you,
I’m sorry.
Those seem to be the only words that my heart allows at the moment…
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry you’ve been abused… broken… hurt… tricked… taken advantage of… mistreated… downplayed… pained… scarred… hated… lied to.
I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say…
Except… well.
I love you.
I love you, and the love that I have for you may as well be nothing when compared to the love I am learning to reflect. This reflection is dull… darkened… shallow... overshadowed by my own depravity, selfishness, and humanity, and yet the source, He who shows me pure and true love, has no darkness or dimness. His light is pure and unimaginably freeing. I want to love you that way. May He teach me more honestly and openly, for I see such pain and brokenness in your life. I want you to know this love. I want you to know this joy. I want you to know this FREEDOM. And yet the only words I can say are… I’m sorry. I don’t know why… but I wish I could undo it all. I want to take the pain and the lies away. I want you to know the truth and I want you to be free. I love you. I don’t know what else to do… I know you’re tired of hearing it, yet I feel the resolution to live it before you. Would you dare to see it? Or, will you hide behind closed eyes, tolerating the pain and the sorrow, hoping everyone just goes away?
Open them… please.
You close them and it undermines everything. Glory is ultimately something we must see, not just hear. Love must be known in action, not only speech. I know my words have reached your ears, yet I pray desperately it would reach your eyes, and through them, your heart. My heart is broken for you… even now I don’t know what to do but write in with the simple hope your heart will find a moment to read such things that are daringly expressed in the face of depravity. What is next for us? I don’t know. My love for you burns anew each day, as if the sun itself adds sets my heart ablaze each morning with its rising. Maybe someday I’ll learn the magic words needed to show you what I really mean. Maybe someday I’ll learn the secret of speaking directly to your heart. Maybe someday I’ll really know what you’re thinking and can then speak against the fears and the past pains that numb your ears to His words and close your eyes to His heart. Maybe someday… or maybe someday you’ll just want to know what it is that I see in you, and maybe on that day you’ll be just honest enough to look past me to see the One whom I represent, asking what it is that HE sees in you, calling your name with tears in His eyes, asking you to come home… maybe you’ll look around for the source of the reflection… you’ll learn that I’m nothing but an expression… and you’ll laugh as you realize what it is that you’ve been caught up in, indefinable though seems to be... you'll cry and I'll heave a great sigh of relief and joy and celebration... I'll marvel at what He has done and thank Him for the chance to be part of it for you. I'll look at you and pray you see what He sees. I'll cry in your healing... you'll laugh in His love... and the Kingdom will be ours. I can see it...
And yet in my vision is also the sight of what blocks your view, and for the sake of that sight I am sorry, and I am willing to help you tear down that wall, that you may hold the promises meant for your life, that you might know joy, hope, and peace, that you might run freely and with strength... because I love you, and I want you to know the Reason why.
Love,
Me
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Micah 7:14-20
14 Shepherd your people with your staff,
the flock of your inheritance,
which lives by itself in a forest,
in fertile pasturelands.
Let them feed in Bashan and Gilead
as in days long ago.
15 "As in the days when you came out of Egypt,
I will show them my wonders."
16 Nations will see and be ashamed,
deprived of all their power.
They will lay their hands on their mouths
and their ears will become deaf.
17 They will lick dust like a snake,
like creatures that crawl on the ground.
They will come trembling out of their dens;
they will turn in fear to the LORD our God
and will be afraid of you.
18 Who is a God like you,
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.
19 You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
20 You will be true to Jacob,
and show mercy to Abraham,
as you pledged on oath to our fathers
in days long ago.
