Dear you,
I love you. I don’t think you realize it because when we do get a chance to talk you don’t recognize the language… you want to talk about things that don’t matter anymore, about who I used to me, about where we used to live, about those experiences and how grand they were- you want to live in the past and I can’t help but live for right now with hope of a grander tomorrow. Do you see it? Those things we did, those accomplishments we had- how successful we were at being somebodys- they don’t matter at all. How I wish you quit living for mirages, quit chasing shadows as if you’ll catch something incredible. There is nothing more real than truth, than looking around in the midst of daylight. You are so trapped… you have so many questions… I’ve heard them, indeed, I’ve asked them. Have you found the answers? Has Lucky satisfied you with some bullsquat story about how you can’t know for sure? As if he knows anything at all! Did you tell him our plans? If you did or did not, he knows them- that’s why he’s holding on to you so tightly, he knows you are his last chance. His days are numbered. Tell him that, please. Tell him we’re on our way! I DARE YOU! I DARE YOU TO TELL HIM STRAIGHT TO HIS FACE!
And I dare you to ask him if he loves you.
I dare you. I dare you right now, ask him if he loves you! Ask him if he can actually protect you! Ask him if he knows the meaning of love! Ask him if he could possibly know what it means to suffer for the sake of someone else! Ask him if he knows the feeling of giving someone a choice, of not forcing or coercing or manipulating! Ask him if he could bear to let you choose! Ask him if he has ever felt passion for anything other than himself! ASK HIM WHERE HIS GLORY WENT! Ask him if he can see purity! ASK HIM WHAT PURITY IS! Ask him if he can show grace! Ask him to let you go! Ask him then to release your chains! Ask him if he knows freedom! Ask if you are free! ASK IF HE WOULD DIE FOR YOU! ASK IF HE WOULD SACRIFICE FOR YOU! Ask him then to take your pain- not HIDE IT under something else, not numb it with some drug or some new fad or some new shirt or a new toy, but TAKE IT AWAY AND DESTROY IT! ASK HIM IF HE LOVES YOU!!!! I DARE YOU!! Ask him if he knows the meaning of PATIENCE- the idea of long suffering.
Ask him… and know that whatever comes from his swolen lips IS a LIE. When has he EVER told the truth? He NEVER did when I was around- I know he NEVER has. He can’t. He doesn’t know how. All he knows is his desire, his pride, his fall, his former self, and his future!! Ask him what he sees! I’ll tell you- all he sees when he looks in a mirror is who he can’t stand to be (a creation, something less glorious than intended, something less true than originally) and all he sees when he looks at you is who you are made in the image of! So he distorts/contorts you into a reflection of him, instead of a refection of your CREATOR Who looked on you and said, “It is good,” when you were naked, bald, bleeding, slimy, and barely alive. He said in that moment, “They are good and they are mine!” Why do you think Lucky makes you dissatisfied with yourself? Because he can’t stand the sight of you! He can’t stand the idea of your reflection becoming clearer and more like the Original. He hates your image because he hates who made you. I dare you to ask him if he loves you without all the stuff. I dare you to ask if he knows what love is.
I love you and right now I’m ticked off. There is truth here. There is real TRUTH, no deception, no lies, no figuring out what is best- Jesus IS. There is freedom here- REAL freedom, the kind that can’t be taken away. There are answers and you can SEE them. It’s yours, but you’ve got to make the choice to leave Lucky behind; he can’t come. Everything he’s given you must stay. All you bring is what you were born with. No bargaining, give up what you feel is worth protecting (it’s not), and accept what cannot be taken away- that which only become more real and true and joyous every single moment.
Remember to ask him the questions… don’t accept some kind of flippant shrug or side-step distraction, don’t let him buy you off with some new toy or temporary desire. ASK. I know what he’ll say already, but perhaps you’ve never thought to ask him why you’re even there. Go ahead, he has nothing to hide, right? Ask. I dare you. I love you more than I can say right now. I love you more than I thought, really… a lot more than I thought. And the kicker is that Jesus loves you so much more than that… He’s put in my heart this passion to see you free and with Him, to see your eyes light up when you understand who you were born to be. He’s put it there and daily He adds to it. You are there and I am here. I want you to be here. So I pray. I will still pray. And one by one, as you come… I’ll rejoice. Someday we’ll rejoice together… till then, know that we press on. All of us, as our love for HIM drives us to love you, we press on. We can’t be stopped because He can’t be stopped. He has chosen us and is calling you. Let’s go.
Love,
Me
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