January 20, 2009: Wish You Were Here

Dear You,

This is hard.
I see you, though you try to hide.
I feel the pain you keep inside.
I don't know why, other than He lets me sometimes.
You're scared.
I know why, more than that...
I know you don't have to be,
and that is probably the hardest thing of all.

I know of something you think you have,
Yet I can run while you stay right there...
Chained.
I can't bare it.
Why are we so afraid?
Why can't we trust?
Why can't we know?
My experiences are my own.
Yours are your own...
Yet mine are redeemed and I see His hand.
You see torment and anger...
You hide again.

My heart breaks for you in ways I never thought it could.
As I sit here and talk with it, I've never felt such a hurt...
Or a desire...
For your freedom...
For your healing.
Still you try to hide...
Behind smiles...
Behind dreams...
Behind pretend things...
Behind illusions...
Still.

I don't know what to do but pray...
And wait?
I know He is calling you too.
He's called us all.
Only you can silence the other sounds
And hear the still, small voice.
I want to for you...
God knows I do.
So badly.
But...
I can't.
Still you hide?
I don't understand.

You demand vulnerability.
Here we are...
Bare.
Broken.
Exposed.
Willing.
Suffering a love that is not our own...
Gladly willing to know Him better.
Yet you hide?
Or are you trapped?
Of course not...
That would mean
You have no control.

Could anything scare you more?
I doubt it.
And it is even that truth that keeps you
Blind.
How long?
I don't care.
I'm here
For you.
I see you...
You refuse to look back.
I still see you.
And I love you.

Do not be afraid.
Come out and
Be free.
You will know a pain of a
Different kind.
The LOVE kind.
Where hope is all you dare breathe in
and joy is not a fleeting moment.
Where words are flesh and
Surrender is release.
Don't hide anymore.

I'll wait as long as I can.
But I do hope you come soon.
I miss you.

Love,
Me