I'm dealing with quite a few thoughts lately pertaining to the break of the male/female relationship model in the Church around us. I see the redemption of this relationship in only a few of my friends. Most of the people I know are operating from a broken stance in it, trying to figure out how to best operate within that brokenness rather than seek out how Christ would truly REDEEM and RESTORE it. I think a lot of it has to do with our frame of origin/reference for people. I'll tell you what God has just laid on my heart and hope it makes sense...
He wants me to think of those around me in terms of HIM, not me. This is what I mean... if my frame of reference shifts from one of "friend" to one of "brother/sister" that automatically takes a different understanding of the relationship. To be a friend means that we are dependent on the intentionality and effort of each other for that relationship to progress. Our friendship is based on me and you, on us. What happens when we regard our relationships from the reference of Christ? It's no longer about us. We have to recognize that before this person that we know was "our" friend, they were our brother/sister. We still bear in our minds the frame of reference of us... we see our part in this persons life and not the fact that CHRIST was there first. This is what I mean and how God has been challenging me to think... before I met this girl, Megan, she was my sister. We dated, that somehow brought to my mind the belief that she was "My girlfriend." We broke up. What is she now? My ex-girlfriend? No. That keeps the frame of reference for our relationship on me. She's my sister. She never stopped being my sister, she'll never stop being my sister without eliminating Jesus, the ULTIMATE, BLOOD CONNECTION that we share, from her life. Blood is more powerful and more binding than affection. ETERNAL BLOOD IS MORE CONNECTING THAN TEMPORAL BLOOD! It is more powerful a connection than intention. The people around me are my brothers and sister by their faith and DEATH and LIFE in the same Jesus that mine is in. To see them from any other standpoint or frame of reference is to shortsell our relationship, Christ's work in our lives, and thus keep me as the frame connection.
Might we learn to see those around us from the reference of Him and not us? Might I learn to see you in terms of HIM and not me? I pray so. Perhaps that is what it means to have our eyes made new, as a sister of mine is praying for right now. Perhaps that is what it means to see ourselves unified and connected by HIM foremost and everything else secondarily (DISTANTLY secondary)? I think it is and I think that when we allow that work to happen in our hearts we will begin to see the restoration of what we had before we ruined our relationships. Megan was never "my" girlfriend, she was always my sister and she still is. If I see her as "ex-anything relating to me" than I have subverted the work of Christ in our lives. Father, forgive me for seeing her in that way. For thinking of her in terms of me. Let me see all around me in terms of YOU.
My heart goes out to you right now. There are some that I know can't get over the brokenness of what once was. They long for a restoration of something, not realizing Christ wants to rewind the brokenness not to the point of your intentional connection, but to the point where the only thing that connects is HIM. Does that make sense? I've been rambling a bit and again, this is a bit disorganized and more just thinking through type than anything, but is this plausible? Practical? Can it be done without HIM? I hope not. I pray for the renewing of our minds and the restoration of our relationships. Let us have new eyes.
In Him,
Greg
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